Not long ago I was speaking to a young man who was in his second year of marriage. I asked how married life was treating him. I was surprised by his response. He said that things were going well now but that the first year was really rough. I didn’t expect that kind of honesty from him because we are nothing more than acquaintances. I figured he would give the standard response of “It’s great” and keep it moving. Then I thought about the purpose of me asking if I only expected a generic response. I guess I was just trying to make conversation.
I thought back to our first year of marriage. I wouldn’t say it was really rough but there were issues that needed to be worked out. My husband nor I had ever lived with anyone other than college roommates before getting married. We both had to learn to adjust to sharing our space. We also had to get used to each others’ habits. During that time we learned new things about each other that didn’t come up while we were dating. We are still learning things about each other.
Think about it. You meet a total stranger and then you fall in love, get married and now live together. A few years prior you didn’t even know this person existed. So yes, that first year is one of transition and learning. At the same time it is also fabulous. You are waking up with this person that you love daily and celebrating a year full of “firsts” as a married couple. I just asked my husband how he would describe our first year and the first thing that came out of his mouth was “fast”, lol. It did go by fast.
It is important to take time and reflect on previous years of marriage if anything you do this to see how far the two of you have come as a couple. Hopefully the issues you had then are no longer issues now.
Think back. What was your first year like?